EGG SAC

Two words that should not be allowed to sit together. EGG and SAC. Do you have an acitive imagination? Do you picture 1000 little wet spider babies swarming out of that hideous pod sac? What a disgusting word. Sac. Not even a cute "K" to make it nice. Sack. No, it's like the K said "I'm not being seen with that gross word." That's why sack is called sac.
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The sac opens up and now they can spread all over the house and are too small to stop. It's like when you drop a bunch of BBs on the floor. You'll never find em all and years later you still spot em here and there. It's the same way with those little spawning satanic spiders.
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I'm sure when they erupt from the sac is fun to watch if you are a spider. I'll bet the spider parents proudly watch and name each one as it oozes out. POP! "Look honey, let's name that one Dakota." POP! "Let's name that one Apple." But any other creature that actually posseses a soul is screaming in terror! It looks like spider lava pouring out of that fuzzy ball!
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Sometimes spiders grab a wasp, bite and paralyze it, then lay their egg sac on top of it, so the kids can have a meal when they wake up. This has gotta suck for the wasp. Can you imagine a bunch of hungry toddler spiders crawling all over your numb body? I can't think of a worse way to die. Except to listen to Fiona Apple's "music." LOL!
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This aversion to spiders babies was with me when I watched Charlottes' Web. Was anyone else severely creeped out at the end when her egg sac opened and her kids came out? Spiders with toddler voices, singing and cooing? If I were that pig, I'd start stomping! Geez! I was still sobbing from Wilbur's wig scene over Charlotte dying in the first place! Now there's 50 more Charlotte clones to go around- that's not a happy ending- THAT'S AN INFESTATION.
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Hmm, let's see- what other species does the whole "egg sac" thing? NONE! OK, maybe mud dabbers and wasps- but they are evil too. My point is- why do these creatures feel the need to carry around their entire next generation in a self made hand bag? It's almost as creepy as Dads with those sad designer baby bags. It'd be creepier if they kept the kids in the bag too. Oh yeah they do that already- those kid slings.
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Possums with babies on their backs are cute. Kangaroos with a joey sticking his head out of Mom's pouch sounds crazy, but it's cute. A spider dragging a pulsating, breathing bundle of spider chitlins all rolled up in an arachnid meatball is NASTY.
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Bon Apetit!

parachute spiders

This is sick. Spiders figured out how to throw their silvery light web thread into the air, making parachutes to dispurse their progeny across the land. That's great. Like walking into a web isn't bad enough, now you can walk face first into a web-chute of an industrious super genius spider bent on world domination. I've just played into his hands! Or feet, or whatever those spindles are called.
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I've been in the ocean when a babble of jellfish float by- that's nerve wracking, I could leap out of the water and run across it like a cartoon character. Maybe that's how Jesus did it- "Holy Cow! There's a ton of jellyfish floating by!" Peter was cracking up- "Lord! You were totally walking on water!"
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But spiders parachuting down like invading troopers in the longest day?
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A professor in Texas says: "Spiders use their silk as a simple parachute to carry them from one place to another. Light winds and rising thermals favor spider dispersal in this manner. The spider stands facing the air current from the top of a grass blade or other platform. (Spider platform?) Then, standing on tip-toe (spider tippy toe?) and with its abdomen pointed toward the sky it releases a stream of silk from its spinnerettes. When the wind currents catch the threads the spiders release their lauching pad and off they go."
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"That's great professor"- (I feel like Raymond Burr in Godzilla) "Can we find a scientic way to stop em?" Maybe global warming will put an end to these light winds and thermals. Maybe global warming isn't such a bad thing.
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And what's with the "pointing the abdomen towards the sky? Who else in nature does that? Oh yeah- hippies. They do that while enjoying their spinnerettes. I think parachute spiders are in league with hippies. Maybe that's why they both want to stop global warming. I'm going outside with an aerosal can right now- to do my part. Bring mother nature to her senses. We need to stop these hippie spiders by creating gale force winds and alternating temperatures between 20 below and 125 degrees. Make it look like Mercury out there.
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Though with my luck spiders could find a way to parachute in a hurricane. Then you'd get a spider in your nose at a velocity of 200 miles per hour. That's just the boon they would want!
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Is there any way to stop them! This is the end, THE END!!!!!